So… you thought you were a decent human being, eh? We’ll try these things and then come back and let me know how good you feel about yourself:
– brush your kid’s hair while she cries and says “Mama, no.”
– take your toddler out past her bedtime and wake her up after you pull into the garage. You monster!
– tell your child the last yogurt is the one flipped upside down by her on the kitchen floor.
– pull her away from a birthday party because she’s potty training and you don’t want a big mess in public. Instead, you get a meltdown.
Still feeling like a member of the human race?
– try taking her blanket away because she has FOUR already in the car.
– explain to her why the mamas can have beer but she can’t. Then consider giving her a little sip just to calm her down.
– take her to the dentist.
– scrub behind her ears.
– drop her off at daycare.
Meanie. Might as well call yourself Gaston or Ursula or Uncle Scar from now on.