CSI: Daycare

The mamas at the Child Scenario Inquiry (CSI) have been tracking a specific subject for about 20+ months.  They receive a daily summary from the daycare center, but are mildly skeptical about the details the staff may be leaving out.  For instance, almost every report is punctuated by smiley faces (e.g. “Luciana had a great time learning about colors in nature [smiley face]”).  The mamas know for a fact that the likelihood of an actual activity being a cheery one is roughly 2 in 5.  Hence the launch of the special investigation.  What is going on at Daycare?

Though they were given evidence in their early days, the ham-fisted archive department (who might or might not be the same as the CSI investigators themselves) had discarded many preliminary artifacts.  However, they have begun to keep recent documents (aka “crafts”, “art projects”, “colorings”, etc.).  The recent signature (not literally, of course) of the subject at hand seems to be evolving.  The mamas are slowly piecing together a puzzle with mildly “meh” results.  Nevertheless, let’s take a look at the evidence they’ve assembled thus far:



Above it appears that the subject, known going forward as LRR, showed zero regard for learning body parts in Spanish and had a singular goal of depleting the green marker.  Also, this may have occurred during the holiday season, as indicated by the splash of red.



Exhibit 2: finger paint.  LRR appears to have favored the yellow paint and based on some of the markings, the mamas could have a left-handed culprit on their hands.  Or it could be upside down.  Or sideways.



Another Spanish lesson, which is strange because there seems to be zero fluency nor interest in Spanish words at home.  Though that is the same for English, so we may have to check back in a few months for the lab results.  We can see by this picture that despite LRR’s best efforts to deface the entire picture with a red marker, someone clearly intervened and guided her mad scribbling toward the appropriate objects and colors.  Aha!  An accomplice…



This piece of evidence has stumped the CSI team.  There seems to be zero rhyme or reason to its purpose or mere existence.  Pending transfer to the X-Files.



Now the subject is testing the testers.  Truly a battle of wills and wits.  Does anybody else see a rabid clown staring at them?



Additional indicators of teamwork.  It looks like LRR lost interest in this project, and so the accomplice not only colored in the appropriate area, but also added a sticker out of pity.  There is a fingerprint or smudge worth noting on the top of the page– a possible sign of struggle?


imageSomeone tagged the subject, as her arms are clearly not long enough to do this to herself.  Is this an ironic smile?  A message to the CSI team?  Some sort of clue we are overlooking?  More analysis is needed.


Again with the terrorizing via art supplies.  It should be noted that this “dot” pattern matches the marks on both the dining room table (made with fork tines) and other wooden surfaces around LRR’s lair.  I think we have pinpointed our M.O.  We have a stab-swiper.  Great for muscle development.  Bad for furniture.

Well, that wraps up what the CSI: Daycare department has found so far.  It seems that this artwork (term used loosely) is not conclusive enough evidence to determine how happy or educated LRR is during craft time, but it has made for an entertaining collection.


The Life Aquatic

Well, it appears that Lucie missed her calling… as an aquarium exhibit.  After a brief visit to the local aquarium, we realized that everything Miss L has come to learn was most likely inspired by one of the various animals we saw there.

  1. Don’t want to be handled?  Pretend you are an invertebrate or other wriggly creature (think octopus, but with clothes on and crankier).


You can’t hold me if I have no shape.

2. A note from the sting rays: splashing is ultimately how you can express your love.  The closer to one’s face and/or dry clothes, the more you care for them.  And the higher the entertainment value.  Extra points if you get water into someone’s open mouth unexpectedly.



3. Man, those lizzards have it down pat.  Find a hot rock and let the heat seep in all day.  This cold weather is for suckers.

Next season, please.

4. Look at those tropical fish!  Life is definitely better surrounded by loved ones.


5. Talk like a parrot: repetitive yet still somehow unintelligible.  Amusing, nonetheless.

6. Spiders. Still really gross.

[Photo not available] [Photo not taken; too busy running away] [Photo wouldn’t be posted anyway. Yuck.]

7. Be sneaky like a shark!

8. All in all, maybe caged life isn’t so bad after all.  As long as you have the right cellmates.