Duuuuuude.

I was told the other day that I had a “bro” style of parenting.  What could that possibly mean?

Advertisements

“R” House: locked in

On today’s episode we are doing a little bit of child-proofing. Stick around to watch the mamas install locks for lever door handles.  First, a word from our sponsor, Tenedores: the entertaining silverware that doubles as a toy. Make mealtime entertaining for at least one person at the table.

Okay, we’re back!  Thank you for joining us today.  We are so excited to have you with us as we go around the house on a  baby-proofing mission.  This is a very simple operation: adding lever locks to doors with–well– lever handles.

Before the show, we grabbed a few “Safety 1st” locks off of Amazon because they were the first things that popped up and didn’t seem much different than other choices.  Our attorneys are making us say that we cannot officially endorse shopping for baby supplies in this manner, especially child safety products.

image

As a side note, please do not mind the black bars on Mama K; she decided not to wear clothes for this episode.  In reality, she was just changing the baby after her shower and I decided to get this little project out of the way.

Okay, step 1: unscrew the current door knob.  This should only take a few minutes.  It had better, because Mama C has to meet with  a friend in one hour.  Here we go!

image

image

image

See these parts?  You will actually only need one of the three, but the other two are thrown in to make things really confusing.  That’s why it’s really important to watch trained professionals such as the Mamas R.

image

Okay now that we’ve removed the handle, it’s really important to do one of two things:

  1. Make sure that not all members of the family (at least not all adults) are on the same side of the door, or
  2. Keep that door from closing because if the other side of the handle gets pushed out…

image

Oh #@%*!.  Um, okay.  So now we have a baby, a Mama without clothes on and a Mama in pajamas.  All stuck in a baby room with no phones, no computers, and no way out.

Think, think, think.

Okay, folks.  We can open the window and yell for help or destroy the door.  Or, we can call our friends who live down the street.  And by “call” I mean text using the Apple Watch.  Apple is not an official sponsor, but this is an official statement of appreciation.  Ho-ly cow.

But first we accidentally FaceTime our other friend, because it’s just that sort of day.

“Are you up? I need help at my house it’s a long story but I need help immediately.”

Alright, now we have a neighbor (savior!) on her way.  If I wasn’t so stressed out, I might think it was cute that I literally texted her at 9:11 AM.  9-1-1.

Now what should we do with this naked co-host in a room full of baby clothes?  Hey, what do we have here?  A bag full of Goodwill donations that happens to contain some old (adult-sized) clothes.  Whew!  This morning could not get any weirder.

[10 minutes later] Well folks, our good neighbor L came over and only laughed at us a little bit.  It turns out that all she had to do is put the handle back into the lock mechanism so we could get out.  As a reward, Little Bug was social toward her and held her hand as they walked down the steps.

image
The finished product

So that wraps up another episode of “R House.”  We hope you had fun and moreover, we hope that you learned a lesson from our follies. Just three more doors to go, and three more chances to lock myself in a room.

This is Mama C signing off.

Denied!
Denied!

As Our World Turns

An apology to the readers.  Because of my cheeky video titles, I’ve been told that the suggested YouTube clips that follow the posted videos are sometimes… um… odd.  So maybe don’t be watching them at work, people.  Tsk tsk.

Anyway, in the spirit of inappropriateness, here we go!

E/I, E/I, oh

Three years ago I was introduced to a local school whose primary mission is to educate children with partial to total hearing loss.  I had a client who was involved with them and, let’s be honest, they threw amazing fundraisers that were awe inspiring, enlightening and a joy to attend.

This year I was asked to join the board of directors.  They told me it was because of my financial acumen, but I’m pretty sure it was more attributable to my flexible schedule and access to charitable resources (yes, donations).  Besides, they will find out soon enough that accounting is not my forte.  By golly, she keeps rotating the balance sheet around like she doesn’t know which way is up. 

To many, including myself at times, being on the board seemed like a random activity with no deeper connection other than a desire to help others.

Until now.

A couple of months ago our pediatrician referred us to an early intervention specialist– known in the field as E/I.  Lucie, it turns out, is a little far behind reaching some communication milestones.  Little things that I don’t notice until watching other kids her age: pointing, associating words with objects, repeating phrases.  And maybe, the pediatrician said, she should get her hearing checked.

I scoffed.  She can hear.  Most of the time.  Some of the time.  Right, Kate?  Right?

In my time volunteering at the school, I learned that it takes some parents years to figure out that their child has hearing loss.  In fact, hard of hearing kids are really perceptive and react to a speaker’s motions, changes in light, air pressure, vibrations and other sensations that occur when people talk to each other.  This often gives off the false impression that a child is fully hearing.

This week we (okay, just Kate) finally made it to the appointment.  The E/I specialists evaluated Lucie and then hooked her up to a machine to test her hearing.  And somehow they decided that she may not have full auditory capabilities.  Either that, or she has earwax.  (Direct quote.)

So we’ll clean her ears.  And keep working with her.  And pray a little.  And meet with the specialists again.  And maybe see an ear/nose/throat doctor.  And then just see what happens next.

Halloweenies

“This is the worst Matt Damon outfit ever” #themartian
"Come on, already. It's like you've never seen a kid in a costume before."
“Come on, already. It’s like you’ve never seen a kid in a costume before.”
image
“Post trick-or-treating with my friend, the chicken. We got a little wet, but not wet enough for him to change out of his costume pants.”
Our actual costumes: thanks to the rain: Pacific NW Halloweens.
Our actual costumes, thanks to the rain: Pacific NW Halloweenies.