Disclaimer: I’m well aware that the referenced song is not about infant chauffeurs, just as the Steve Miller Band isn’t talking about the peaches on a real tree. But the S & G tune is stuck in my head… as it is in yours now, too. You’re welcome!
Hey, LB: what kind of driver are you going to become? You’ve got Mama K’s East Coast influence or Mama C’s Midwestern style. So, which one will it be?
EC: honk honk honk…honnnnnnnnk
MW: wave when cutting in to say ‘thanks’, when cutting out to say ‘sorry for taking too long’ and just to say ‘hi’ anytime you feel like it.
EC: excel at parallel parking… because you used the bumpers of the cars on either side to guide you.
MW: write a note even if there is no visible damage. Jesus is always watching.
EC: weave in and out because you can.
MW: drive forward, slam on brakes, turn wheel = snow donut.
EC: das German autos, ja?
MW: are you kidding me? My 10 out of 11 relatives who work for Ford/GM would kill me if I drove a foreign car. Plus, mad family discounts. Plus, plus, America makes the biggest pickup trucks.
COMING OF AGE
EC: learn to drive later in life because you’ve got subways and taxis and maybe just one family car.
MW: dude, I learned when I was eight on my grandpa’s tractor.
EC: European-style bumper stickers (they are round, black and white labels with esoteric codes. I’m still trying to figure out how “ACK” means Nantucket.).
MW: Calvin peeing on whatever brand truck you don’t have, or praying if you drive a mini-van.
Well, there is always the passive-aggressive Pacific Northwest.