‘They Call Me Baby Driver’

Disclaimer: I’m well aware that the referenced song is not about infant chauffeurs, just as the Steve Miller Band isn’t talking about the peaches on a real tree. But the S & G tune is stuck in my head… as it is in yours now, too.  You’re welcome!

photo by K. O'Donnell
photo by K. O’Donnell

Hey, LB: what kind of driver are you going to become? You’ve got Mama K’s East Coast influence or Mama C’s Midwestern style.  So, which one will it be?


EC: honk honk honk…honnnnnnnnk

MW: wave when cutting in to say ‘thanks’, when cutting out to say ‘sorry for taking too long’ and just to say ‘hi’ anytime you feel like it.


EC: excel at parallel parking… because you used the bumpers of the cars on either side to guide you.

MW: write a note even if there is no visible damage. Jesus is always watching.


EC: weave in and out because you can.

MW: drive forward, slam on brakes, turn wheel = snow donut.


EC: das German autos, ja?

MW: are you kidding me? My 10 out of 11 relatives who work for Ford/GM would kill me if I drove a foreign car. Plus, mad family discounts. Plus, plus, America makes the biggest pickup trucks.


EC: learn to drive later in life because you’ve got subways and taxis and maybe just one family car.

MW: dude, I learned when I was eight on my grandpa’s tractor.


EC: European-style bumper stickers (they are round, black and white labels with esoteric codes. I’m still trying to figure out how “ACK” means Nantucket.).

MW: Calvin peeing on whatever brand truck you don’t have, or praying if you drive a mini-van.


Well, there is always the passive-aggressive Pacific Northwest.


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