1. The first rule of Glub Club is: you do not talk about Glub Club.
Just kidding; this is not a Palahniuk novel. You can bring it up, especially if you want to insert your kid randomly in conversation. Example: “What did you think of the presentation yesterday?” “My kid is in swimming lessons!”
2. The second rule of Glub Club is: no shoes beyond the locker room.
Unless you are Asian, in which case you wear your flip flops and pretend like you didn’t see the signs posted all over the place. Even though you take your shoes off everywhere else.
3. The third rule of Glub Club is: babies have to wear swim diapers.
But not diapers and swim diapers, as the Roquardts did the first day. I’m surprised Little Bug didn’t sink to the bottom of the pool with all of that extra soggy weight.
4. The fourth rule of Glub Club is: tune up or tune out.
Singing is mandatory. In a group of strangers. In your bathing suit. Oh man, this is pretty much an adult’s worst nightmare.
5. The fifth rule of Glub Club is: try not to judge the misbehaving kid in the class next to you.
Because one day that will be yours acting up in a room filled with other scrupulous parents.