Crank it up

The terrible twos?  What about the ornary ones?!



Glub Club

1. The first rule of Glub Club is: you do not talk about Glub Club. 

Just kidding; this is not a Palahniuk novel. You can bring it up, especially if you want to insert your kid randomly in conversation. Example: “What did you think of the presentation yesterday?” “My kid is in swimming lessons!”


2. The second rule of Glub Club is: no shoes beyond the locker room.

Unless you are Asian, in which case you wear your flip flops and pretend like you didn’t see the signs posted all over the place. Even though you take your shoes off everywhere else.

3. The third rule of Glub Club is: babies have to wear swim diapers.

But not diapers and swim diapers, as the Roquardts did the first day. I’m surprised Little Bug didn’t sink to the bottom of the pool with all of that extra soggy weight.

4. The fourth rule of Glub Club is:  tune up or tune out.

Singing is mandatory. In a group of strangers. In your bathing suit. Oh man, this is pretty much an adult’s worst nightmare.

5. The fifth rule of Glub Club is: try not to judge the misbehaving kid in the class next to you.

Because one day that will be yours acting up in a room filled with other scrupulous parents.


The Revelation of Book

Some quick reflections on the world of children’s lit:

1. Dr. Seuss is longer than I remember.  This is especially true when trying to get through The Cat in the Hat and Lucie is intent on eating the pages or squirming out of our arms.  We haven’t made it through a complete book in one sitting.

2. Speaking of rhyming couplets, most children’s authors are really, really bad at the basic concept of rhythm.  I’m not asking for Spenserian stanzas here, but just a basic A-B-A-B pattern would be nice.

3. We are probably going to get a visit from the FBI soon.  Mama K really likes checking out books from the library (using Lucie’s card, of course), with hidden messages like the socialist Click Clack Moo: Cows That Type.

4. Babar is still boring.

5. Caldecott and Newberry award winners are basically timeless.  I just read Make Way for Ducklings and enjoyed that it took place in a park I just recently visited!

6. Shel Silverstein’s literature is actually pretty disturbing.  He’s also a scary looking guy.

7. Richard Scarry’s literature is not disturbing–but his name is.

8. Of course Lucie’s favorite book would be an out-of-season board book about five Halloween pumpkins rolling about town.  Because that never gets old.

9. Pat the Bunny needs to bring back the old flower smell.  Whatever they are using now just isn’t cutting it.

10. In a pinch, just grab a Bloomberg Businessweek and read animatedly about Japan’s economic outlook.  Apologies to Shinzo Abe if I make him sound like Mickey Mouse.  It’s for the kid, you see?


April 5, 2015!  All Year Long; All Year Strong.  Way to go, Lucie.