It’s about time I weighed in. This is Chicken, the smart dog in the house. Probably the smartest mammal in the house, if not the entire block. Seriously, do you see me picking up anyone else’s #2? I didn’t think so.
Well, the other day I heard an annoying cacophony of cheers and clapping, so I went to check it out. Maybe my Sam Smith CD finally came in the mail, I didn’t know. I’m not usually a curious sort, but that day I was feeling optimistic. That will teach me.
I barely poked my head through the door frame when I realized they were watching the Fat Puppy as per usual, and celebrating its every little achievement. What I saw, however, was not the usual rolling around without purpose or rocking on her haunches like a simpleton. Oh no, what I witnessed literally terrified me to the point of hiding in the farthest corner of the house for the rest of the day.
She was crawling.
I heard the ladies say something about “let the fun begin.” I beg to differ. It’s more like “let the anxiety begin and the way I used to live my very comfortable and posh lifestyle END.” What the woof? Someone’s gonna pay for this.