Adventures in Bathing

Lucie’s last bath was a special one because of an unfortunately common condition called “cradle c(r)ap.” If you Google it, I suggest you do so on an empty stomach, because it’s gnarly. Just writing about it makes my head itch.

Here’s a bathing play-by-play for your amusement.

Step 1 (optional and somewhat debated): add olive oil to hair, do best New Jersey car salesman impression.

I "something" Mommy, but it isn't "love" at this particular moment.
I “something” Mommy, but it isn’t “love” at this particular moment.

Step 2: express displeasure in being treated like a Rachel Ray dish.

Redrum
Redrum

Step 3: brush hair with toothbrush (free dentist samples work great!) to break up scalpy grossness.

Mad scientist look
Mad scientist look

Step 4: add water!

The camera adds 10 pounds?
The camera adds 10 pounds?

Step 5: buff it out, pat it down, wrap it up.

Snug as a bug
Snug as a bug

Step 6: forget all about the last 20 minutes. No, really. Baby brain is on to the next adventure. Look! Shadows and lights on the wall!

All sharp objects have been removed from use... just in case
All sharp objects have been removed from reach… just in case

Step 7: be hungry all night long because, despite shampooing, hair perpetually smells like you’re at an Italian restaurant.

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